Owning October

This is my time.
This is my month.

September usually treats me much better than most months. But this year.... lets just say September ended up dropping me into a new kind of hell, emotionally, and the last week or so has been harder than I could've imagined and I've been in a darker place than I ever thought I would be. I'm working on it...

SO

Yesterday, being the First of October, I decided that I was going to claim this month as my own. This is my month. I will own every moment of the next 30 days and focus on the things that will make me feel whole again. I will work on sponging away the anger and hurt and tainted memories by replacing them with art and friendship and joy. I will extract the toxicity from my life and embrace the people who truly know what love and friendship mean. I will be healthier. I will be busier. I will take (reasonable) risks and start anew. 

first step- chop off my insanely long hair:

My hair hasn't been this short since I lived in Tallahassee. It took a literal and figurative load off of me when the stylist sliced off 9 inches of dead ends. It was time. And it was a tiny outlet for some of the scary, destructive energy I've had stewing inside of me.

Yesterday I also completed my run in the "Utah Idol" karaoke contest. Last night was the Finals round, and out of the 45 people who made it to finals (not to mention the 100+ people who entered the competition) I managed to rank in the top 15 performers. It was insane. I sang "No Good Deed" from Wicked as one of my songs last night and it was the most terrifying, exhilarating, and wild feeling I've had as a performer in a really, really long time. My dad filmed it.. I'm working on getting it from him and posting it somewhere so the peeps who wanted to be there but couldn't get a chance to see it. It was ridiculous, and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to do it. I want to sing more. I want to get back into voice lessons and get better at what I love to do. 

And last, but mostly- I just got a new job!!! You are reading the writing of the newest Enrollment Counselor at WGU. I'll still be working with the Enrollment team, except now people will be setting appointments for me to talk to people and help them get enrolled in school. I will be in a full time, salaried position. With benefits. And they seemed understanding about my conflicts for Christmas Carol, and about potential conflicts for future shows. I move to that team on the 13th and I am so excited I can't stand it. 

October is my month.

I am Owning October. 

You hear me?

Owning It.

Observations from My Cubicle

• When you work at a job that is not very difficult, it becomes glaringly obvious which of your coworkers are vastly incompetent humans. Especially when they sit across from you and you can see their sub-par work ethic in action.
• Most voice mail boxes will answer after about 30 seconds. If the line rings for more than a minute, it is unlikely that there is an answering service available. 
• Cubicle walls are very thin, and I can hear the guy on the other side of mine watching videos and listening to music all the time. One day he was watching the Defying Gravity Tony's performance. I want to be his friend.
• Do not forget to dial 9-1- before dialing out. Otherwise you dial an extension for someone within the company and don't reach the student at all.
• Rainy days make it harder to be in-office for some reason. I'd rather be in bed.
• I tend to be more productive after 2pm than before 2pm for some reason. 
• Some people have voices that carry from all the way across the office. Like 4 or 5 rows of desks away. 
• These people, with the voices that carry, often look nothing like you expected them to from the way their voice sounds.
• People who pick up the phone and either immediately hang up, or who speak with you for a moment and then hang up boggle my mind. I never realized how rude that was, especially when we're calling with information THEY requested. Also the people who refuse to answer you with anything other than one-word-answers..... what?
• I am the most fidgety human. I never realized how much I dislike sitting in the same place for extended periods of time. My legs are almost always wiggling, or I'm playing with my hair. Something to keep me from falling asleep.
• 15 minutes for lunch is all you really need. But sometimes you REALLY need a full half hour. 
• I function better when there are goals set for me... trying to set my own goals isn't as motivating as trying to achieve something someone else expects me to do.
• Most of the people I talk to are nice enough, but every now and then I speak with someone so delightful that it just makes the whole day worth it.