My Whole30 Wrap Up

I haven't written on this blog since Black Friday last year. Almost a whole year. Whoops!

I've since done 2 different productions (First Date and Rock of Ages), and I'm about to open a 3rd (Addams Family).

I've been to Mexico, Disneyland, LA, San Diego, the and Utah Shakespeare Festival.

I've transitioned to working from home.

I started dating a man who is every day making me the happiest.

And, as of today, I've completed my first Whole30.

photo cred: whole 30 creator, Melissa Hartwig
(see her IG handle above- she's kind of the fiercest)

I kind of decided on a whim to look into Whole 30. I've been trying all year to work on eating better and dropping some weight, and I did okay at the start of the summer- my part in Rock of Ages was motivating, I wanted to look good in the jumpsuits they were putting me in. But once the show opened just got a little crazy and busy and I lost focus (like always.) Then Addams Family happened. I'm playing Morticia, who wears a "dress cut down to Venezuela." (actual quote from the show.) I felt like I needed to get back on the horse to really feel comfortable in what my costume would be; I wanted to be able to focus on my performance, not my body.
That's where the Whole30 came in. My friends Karmon and Jared recommended it when I saw them about 6 weeks ago. We were talking about Morticia, and wanting to eat better and they told me about how it had worked for them. And, after some research I thought "Yeah, I can do that."

Essentially you spend Thirty days without consuming any of the following:

Grains (including rice & corn)

Dairy

Beans or Legumes (soy)

Sugar (no honey or natural sweeteners either)

Alcohol

I know, Miss Jay, I know. I love all those things too.

Just Thirty days eating only whole, complete proteins, veggies, fruits, and fats. The idea is that it's a hard reset on your body, eliminating the types of food that could potentially be contributing to fatigue, headaches, bloating, bad skin, overweight, etc. You follow those essential guidelines, while also avoiding the scale, and paying attention to those foods that are still a crutch for you.
Once you've succeeded, you add each item back into your diet slowly, to see what affects you and how. 

Today is my day 31. 

Over the last month I've been excited, annoyed, energized, frustrated, hangry, inspired, motivated, and a thousand other emotions. I've learned how to cook so many meals that are full of flavor and void of filler. I've started reading labels and discovered just how much crap is added to our food. I've learned to love coffee without sugar (though I'm dying for a Pumpkin Latte VERY soon.) I've eaten more fruit this month than I have all year. I've learned I can handle stress and anxiety without alcohol or food. I've learned I can say NO when something full of empty calories is in front of me. My skin has been clearer, I sleep better, I generally have much more sustainable energy, and my clothes fit much better.  I have survived gatherings with friends and outings to bars and birthday parties without having a drink or eating the sweets. I've learned I need to eat something every 3-4 hours or so; otherwise, I get really grumpy. I've learned how helpful it is to meal-plan, and how much time it can save in the long-run.

I've been supported by awesome people. 

My amazing boyfriend has helped me shop, cook, meal prep, read labels, and even discovered the best way to make Whole30 compliant mayo so that I could have ranch dip for my veggies.
(Did you know regular mayo has sugar in it? WHAT?)

My Addams Family cast-members have cheered me on and avoided offering me sweets so that I didn't have to say no (and even baked me treats I could save and eat now that I'm done.) 

All my friends on FB and IG and at Work were extra supportive, commenting and encouraging me to stay the course and not give up anytime my cravings started getting a little too loud.

My Mom sent me recipes I could moderate to fit the rules.

Seriously so grateful. This would have been impossible without you guys.

It's been an incredible month. I'm going to start slow with the reintroduction phase- tonight will be a sugar-free cocktail or two. This weekend I'll pick something else to add back in (probably a PSL with almond milk- hello sugar! Or just all the cheese!). And then I'll just work my way down the line. For the most part- I think i'm going to keep meal-prepping fairly close to Whole30 standards. Maybe mixing in some Paleo solutions for things like tortillas and such, and hopefully my body still likes cheese. But, having meals ready to go in the fridge has been really liberating (and saved me money since I'm not driving through places.) And I'm loving how I feel eating this way. 

Long story short (too late), I feel like even though Whole30 is over, this is kind of the start of taking better care of myself as a complete human. I'm pretty psyched to keep feeling great and finding new ways to be the best me.

Attitude of Grattitude

• Friends who have supported me all year long, keeping me going through all the crap.
• A year of struggle and challenges that have only made me better.
• Buster and how sweet and silly he always is.
• A muggle job that doesn't destroy my soul, and continues to help me support my Theatre Addiction, financially and logistically.
• Being cast in Midvale Main Street's production of "First Date." I cannot WAIT to break out my "character acting" chops and be silly and ridiculous along with a really fun cast. (INCLUDING my love, Dustin Bolt, who i have yet to do a show with. it's about damn time.)
• Getting to go to CABO in 1 month, and 19 days (not that I'm counting).
• My immediate family, for being strong and smart and caring and loving at all times. And my extended family, both sides, for proving that love is the center of everything and that we're all always there for each other.
• The opportunity I had this year to push my boundaries in a lot of ways. I ventured into some fun and weird and wild worlds, and took some fun people along for the ride, and it was so liberating and wonderful. I'm so grateful for that chance.
• Student Loan consolidation.
• Health Insurance
• Voice Lessons
• Co-Workers who make me laugh and work hard, and a manager who lets me be myself and do my job and function like a real person and not a cog in a machine. 
• "WIT". Working on that show this year was the best best best thing of all. I met the most amazing people, watched one of my favorite actors be brilliant and brave, and learned so much about humility and honesty and camaraderie. Priceless.
• Karaoke and it's power to free my soul
• An Adventurous Roommate 
• Kitchens and Refrigerators and Stoves and the ability I have to cook, however mediocre my food may be. (i mean, i like it.)
• Zaxby's and Moe's and Popeye's coming to Utah. 
• Chocolate & Pumpkin Spice everything
• Cars that get me from point A to point B. 
• Puppies
• Text Messaging and it's ability to bridge the gap between SLC and NYC and San Diego and North Carolina and Florida.
• Tattoos
• Feeling secure and safe in my neighborhood and city. 
• My ability to express my thoughts and opinions openly and without risk. 
• My education in academia and music and theater and speech. 

... to name just a few things.

I hope I'm practicing gratitude year-round, I definitely try to accentuate the positive in my life and express my thanks whenever I can. But at this time of year, when it's on every one's minds, I like taking an opportunity to once again express my thanks for the all the things I hold dear, no matter how big or small. I love seeing the things people find to be grateful for each day during this month- I'd like to hope that that attitude of gratitude can continue all year, whether outwardly and publicly, or quietly in our hearts. 

My Funny Valentine

Valentine's Day
Singles Awareness Day
V-Day

Whatever you call it, it's that time of year again. The time when people seem to either pair off, or lament their singularity, or bemoan how little such a commercial day means.

For me, this year, it's somehow just a day.

I'd anticipated being emotional.

Sad, angry, nostalgic, regretful, lonely, hurt....

But I'm not.

I've been thinking about last year, this time, when I was in a relationship and the day seemed to hold significance. It felt special and good at the time. 

But on reflection, it was very one-sided. I put in a lot of thought and energy, treating someone else in a way that just wasn't ever reciprocated, really. Not that everything always needs to be 100% reciprocal in relationships- but some sort of effort from both parties should be made... don't you think?

ANYWAYS.

This year I'm taking the opportunity to just look at the 14th of February as a day to Treat myself.

Sleeping in.

Eating well.

Surrounding myself with people (and pets) whom I love.

That whats the day should be about. 

If that means being around someone you're romantically involved with, great.

But if you're not in a relationship, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the day and fill it with love for yourself and the others around you.

And just for the record- I love you guys. ♥

My Life Would Suck Without You.

I have the most incredible friends.
These human beings who have become part of my life and who make me whole and better and sane.

Today was just the most rough. I was confronted with dealing with a less-than-desirable person, and had to decide the best way to handle it while also trying to calm the storm that the situation ignited inside of me. I was thrown back into a place that I thought I'd escaped from, and it was a little scary, and emotional, and painful. But, I am so incredibly lucky that the following humans were able to contribute to making my day less difficult than it would have been otherwise:

BJ W.
The last two months have been a special kind of hell for BJ and I. And while I am sorry that we've both had to experience it, I am the most grateful that this wonderful human being has been by my side through the whole thing, and that we have been able to help each other through the turmoil. BJ is honestly one of the most genuine, loving, kind, amazing people I know and I am blessed to call him my friend.

Liz L.

My work wife. The wild-child who I can vent to about anything and everything, and who has been the most supportive and loving. She'll rub my back while i cry on her desk and then lend me her phone so i can check my makeup in the camera, and then coach me through my crazy mood-swings through out the day. I'm just the most grateful we met and that we still get to work together, even if we don't work on the same team anymore.

David & Janelle

Two of the most wonderful humans who made a point today of making sure I knew I was welcome and wanted in their home, even if I wasn't ready to attend a function where undesirable humans would be in attendance. Their support and love have been felt from miles away as they've been caught in the midst of the insanity. I am forever grateful for their friendship. In fact it's one of the few good things that came out of the relationship that was.

Megan Y.

My ginger-mermaid friend who advises me and makes me better. She inspires me, sends me happy things, and indulges my rants and rages about anything and everything. Her love and encouragement are so helpful at work, and I am  glad that we are able to vent to each other and work through our red-head passions together. We are two peas in a pod and will likely run away to be mermaids in Thailand one day.

The Cast of A Christmas Carol

I know that's a huge umbrella, but I honestly am so so so glad that everyone who I get to see at rehearsal is there. Today (and most days), I am especially grateful for Casey, Nate, Mason, Kade, Erin, Geoff, and Josh, but the cast as a whole is such a delight and so wonderful to be around. There is nothing better than being surrounded by beautiful, talented, loving humans every night for a few hours. I have made such incredible friends, who don't even know how much they mean to me. This show is a family- and I'm honored to be a part of it.

Ally B.
My roommate who takes care of me so very well. She can come home to see me halfway through my second glass of wine, listen to me whine and cry about my shitty day, and ensure that I eat more before heading to rehearsal. She also is incredibly on the ball about getting household matters taken care of, which is such a blessing. Thanks to her I was able to come home to our wi-fi being up and running. I am so so so glad that we are living together again, and so grateful that we've been friends for so long. 

Missy-Moo

My seeeeeester, who I can just text and she can tell things may not be okay and promptly contribute a ridiculous vine or tidbit to make me smile. She rocks. I'm glad I get to call her mine. 

And these are just the people who were instrumental in my day today. There are so many more incredible humans who I would be totally lost without, but to list them all would take years. And for that I am grateful.

So thank you, friends. Thank you for proving that people are fundamentally good. Thank you for providing support and love. Thank you for making me laugh hard and smile wide. Thank you for crying with me, or at least allowing me to cry on your shoulder. Thank You. Thank You. THANK YOU.

My life really would suck without all of you.