Fast Facts on a Sunday

I missed Friday. So here's this weeks' fast facts, Valentines style:

1. Do you like Valentines Day?
   Never been my favorite. I've had good and bad years. I'm trying to get to a place where I realize that it's okay to not have someone and that this is a dumb holiday.
2. What is one Valentines Day tradition you have?
   None, really. I worked the last two years in a row. I'm going to maybe try and pick up a shift this week. Other that that... nothing really.
3. Who do you want to be your Valentine?
   Ha. Well, I have a few inappropriate crushes which aren't realistic in the least, so they don't count. But it would be nice to have someone be a secret admirer. 
4. What was the funniest Valentine you ever recieved?
   One year my family sent me a Valentines care package. It had Pajamas, candy, and silly cards from my siblings in it.
5. What do you want to get from your Valentine this year?
   I dont' have one, but I've always loved the idea of being surprised with a nice dinner, flowers, and tickets to the theatre.

KCACTF was ... long. Emotional. Exhausting. Exciting. 

The three performance run of Xanadu on Wednesday was ridiculously fun, like living in a dream. It was tiring, but ideal. I felt like I was at home, exactly where I needed to be. Its days like that when I feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to do, that if I can handle a whole day sequestered in a theatre I'm obviously meant to be an actor. It was thrilling, the crowds loved us, and we were the talk of the festival, it seemed. I was proud to represent Weber with such a lighthearted, joyful show. 

I'm living in this weird emotional slump, again, however. Self-esteem has never been my strong point, and I'm definitely feeling it. I start to wonder sometimes if there is enough about me to stand out, or if I'm just destined to be the third girl from the right in the chorus for the rest of my life. When I feel like this, I tend to shut down, push everything away and hide from the world in my cave of a bedroom. Its been like that for the last few weeks. Katrina said tonight, when I brought it up- "How do we fix it?" And honestly, I don't know. Sometimes I think it fixes itself, at least for a bit. But I always slump back down. 

Gah. Depressing. I promised myself I wouldnt get depressing on my blog anymore, sorry for the vent session. It just kindof happens.