Fast Facts and Where I Am.

1. What was the last movie you saw in the theatre?
   Beauty & The Beast in 3D. Before that was the new Sherlock Holmes Movie
2. What was the last movie you watched at home?
   On Valentines day we watched Clue and Yes Man. Silly movies to keep our minds off being single.
3. Who is your favorite movie star?
   Gahhh. I hate this question. I love Tom Hanks, without a doubt. I also love me some Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, Leo Dicaprio, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Emma Stone.... so many good actors.
4. What movie can you watch over and over again and not get sick of?
   Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Princess Bride, The Little Mermaid, Tangled.
5. What movie will you never watch again?
   The Twilight films. Napoleon Dynamite. I have a hard time watching American Beauty for sentimental reasons, but not because it isnt fabulous (it is).

Where I am:

Bought tickets for How I Learned to Drive and Sleep No More in NYC. I leave for the Big Apple in 23 days. Only 23 days. I can survive that. I think.

Cradle Will Rock is coming along. We're in the polishing stages of rehearsals, just running and cleaning and fixing things. Its fun, good for me to be in a creative process with good people. This week, however, has had the weirdest energy. Its been difficult to enjoy pretty much any of it, because there is an energy sucking presence somewhere on campus and everyone seems to be effected by it. I'm hoping that after this long weekend I'll be able to re-apply myself, focus on school and directing and designing and being a motivated creative human again.

This post-KCATF slump though is such a bummer. I've been trying to stop feeling like I'm not important. I've been trying to supress any resentment I have towards my friends and their cute new boys, because I am happy for them and the new developments in their relationship lives. I am. But I'm also so tired of feeling like nothing happens for me. Like i'm stuck in this vacuum of loneliness. Its a self-indulgent feeling, self-centered, and useless. I know these things. And yet... they're still there. Those thoughts of "If i was thinner, had clearer skin, had better hair, more exotic eyes, a bigger voice, a brighter glow..." Those thoughts that make me feel like it's never going to happen for me.  But I mask it, I cover it up with a smile and try to tap into the opposite side of my feelings and let my happiness for them show through.

I'm trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing for the summer. I'm auditioning for XANADU down at the Grand next weekend. If that doesnt pan out I'm not entirely sure what I'll do. Work at Corbin's all summer and do community theatre I guess. If i could get cast in a decent role for All Shook Up at Centerpoint that would be alright. I need parts to boost my resume. So a paying gig or a lead/big-ish role in a show would be ideal. Otherwise I will just work again. All summer. And try not to kill myself from boredom/creative deprivation.

... Just got hit with the 3rd Mike reminder of my day. Weird. Not okay. He's all over in my head today and while I'm not pining for things that arent meant to be, I'm definitely not okay with re-living all these sentimental gems. 

gahhh. 23 days... and counting.