Patience is hard.

There is a girl. A woman, I guess, since she is my age. But I think of her as a girl. Who has chosen to make it her life's goal to make my boyfriend's life as difficult as possible. They were married, and things happened, and as part of their divorce settlement he has been required to pay her $300/month. This money was supposed to help her support herself as she went to school and lived on her own and started her new life. Problem being- she quit going to school, and moved back in with her parents, all the while still claiming she needed the extra money. She also told him that she couldn't care for their dogs anymore, made him take them. He worked very hard to help those sweet pups adjust to his life and home and then she changed her mind, decided she needed them more than him, and yanked the dogs back into her 'custody'. She has harassed and hounded and irritated him beyond measure for the last year. I'm sure in her mind it's revenge, she feels he owes it to her because for whatever reason she thinks she's the only one who was hurt when their marriage ended. I'm sure she thinks she's justified.

but i just want to key her car.
egg her house.
send her nasty, angry emails.
punch her in the throat.

she makes me violently angry.
I know I can't fully understand her point of view. I don't know how she felt when things ended and they divorced. I don't even know every single detail of the reasons for the divorce.

What I do know is that when a marriage doesn't work it's not the fault of one person. There are two people in a marriage, and it takes both parties to make or break it. So while she may feel like he's fully culpable, she played a part as well. And she doesn't just get to make his life miserable because her feelings were hurt.

I want to tell her to grow the hell up.
Be an adult. Move on. Find someone new.
Become a more complete, stronger individual by learning from your experiences.

I want to have the grace and patience and maturity to encourage her to grow.
to wish her health and joy and happiness

But I'd rather  make her feel as small and insignificant and childish as she's acted for the last year.

Instead I will continue to enjoy my time with this man who has made my life better, and who has shown extreme patience and self-control throughout. I will keep supporting him. We will keep having a good time and living life and enjoying the world. He's done paying her support as of today. And I'm looking forward to spending our time together free from her insanity.