"We all have a 'type'"

PROLOGUE- We went out for Ally Berry's 21st birthday last night and it was ridiculously fun. Keys On Main is probably my favorite bar in the state, which isn't saying much since I've been to so few of them here, but still. She was drunk, and rightfully so, and we surprised her with a visit from our long lost and soon-to-be-famous friends Grey & PJ, and everyone serenaded her through Karaoke. It was a wonderful, and well deserved, birthday for a girl who is Brilliant and Loving and Sweet and Amazing.- Guests included: Tyson, Jaron, Marc, Isaac, Carleton, Me, Shelby, Grey, and PJ.

I was really glad to get out and go drinking with everyone I love, and to spend time feeling less like a little kid and more like a big-kid. Sometimes I feel like the reason no one realizes I'm older than 20 is because my group of friends has an average age of 20, and it's hard to be all... grownupish. Idk. Whatever, Last night was wonderful, and fun, and I got to see friends I rarely see, and I found myself interested in someone for the first time in a while.

See, this spring was more than a little difficult on my love-life. After a breakup that made me assert myself in a way I never have before, and then some physical set-backs that knocked my confidence down a few notches, I havent found myself feeling interested in anyone romantically at all. That's not to say I havent wanted to be with someone, I just haven't felt like anyone was attractive or butterfly inducing. I've been in this weird situation of sometimes crippling loneliness that has no outlet because there is no one specific I've wanted to be with. It's been incredibly frustrating. SO- last night at the bar when I found myself drawn to this guy, it was nice to feel that way again. Nice to have those twitterpated feelings, to want to be flirty, to try and catch his interest. It was fun. We'd met before, a few times actually, but never really spent any time together, and last night we got to know each other a teeny tiny bit more. He sang karaoke, and suggested the PERFECT song for me to sing. Things were fun. Things were interesting, but all the while I knew, that this was just me falling into the same old trap. Because this fun and flirty guy is JUST LIKE the last 3 guys I've been associated with. He's a video-game-aholic, and he's a recreational drugs kindof guy. He's not the healthiest of crushes for me, and I knew that before he and I even started talking, and yet... 

I still find myself wanting to facebook stalk him, and trying to figure out how to hang out with him again without seeming all weird and crush-y. It's not smart or healthy at all. And while I'm glad that my hormones and confidence and brain are letting me feel this way again, I just wish it was towards someone a bit less like all the other guys I've dated. A friend of mine said that we all have a type... and I'm wondering why it is that every guy I'm physically interested in tends to also be the kindof guy who doesnt have his shit together.

This is a problem. How do I fix it?